Children's Favourites - Lyrics

Poppa Piccolino - Petula Clark
(Papaveri e Papere)

Oh listen to the music I hear
Old Poppa Piccolino is near
To win a smile or maybe a tear
Before travelling on
A vagabond who wanders along
A millionaire but only in song
As though the world might really belong to him
This fellow plays a melody so mellow
That ev’ryone keeps shouting "Bello Bello"

All over Italy they know his concertina,
Poppa Piccolino, Poppa Piccolina,
He plays so prettily to ev’ry signorina
Poppa Piccolina from sunny Italy.

No matter what the calendars show
It can’t be spring and I ought-ta know
Until I hear him singing "Hello Hello,
I’m here again."
A flower in his batter’d old hat
A smile for ev’ry doggie and cat
And children get the friendliest pat of all
I’ll give his name so if yo ever meet him
Then you will know exactly how to greet him.

All over Italy they know his concertina,
Poppa Piccolino, Poppa Piccolina,
He plays so prettily to ev’ry signorina
Poppa Piccolina from sunny Italy.

Danny Kaye- Inchworm

Two and two are four
Four and four are eight
Eight and eight are sixteen
Sixteen and sixteen are thirty-two
Inchworm, inchworm
Measuring the marigold
You and your arithmetic
You'll probably go far
Inchworm, inchworm
Measuring the marigold
Seems to me you'd stop and see
How beautiful they are.

Danny Kaye - Thumbalina

Thumbalina, Thumbalina tiny little thing
Thumbalina dance, Thumbalina sing
Thumbalina what’s the difference if you’re very small?
When your heart is full of love you’re nine feet tall

Though you’re no bigger than my thumb
Than my thumb, than my thumb
Sweet Thumbalina don’t be glum
Now now now, ah ah ah, come come come

Thumbalina, Thumbalina tiny little thing
Thumbalina dance, Thumbalina sing
Thumbalina what’s the difference if you’re very small?
When your heart is full of love you’re nine feet tall

Though you’re no bigger than my toe
Than my toe, than my toe
Sweet Thumbalina keep that glow
And you’ll grow and you’ll grow and you’ll grow

Thumbalina, Thumbalina tiny little thing
Thumbalina dance, Thumbalina sing
Thumbalina what’s the difference if you’re very small?
When your heart is full of love you’re nine feet tall

Danny Kaye- Wonderful, Wonderful Copenhagen

Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen
Friendly old girl of a town
'Neath her tavern light
On this merry night
Let us clink and drink one down
To wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen
Salty old queen of the sea
Once I sailed away
But I'm home today
Singing Copenhagen, wonderful, wonderful
Copenhagen for me.

I sailed up the Skagerrak
And sailed down the Kattegat
Through the harbor and up to the quay
And there she stands waiting for me
With a welcome so warm and so gay
Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen

Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen
Friendly old girl of a town
'Neath her tavern light
On this merry night
Let us clink and drink one down
To wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen
Salty old queen of the sea
Once I sailed away
But I'm home today
Singing Copenhagen, wonderful, wonderful
Copenhagen for me.

Danny Kaye - The King's New Clothes

This is the story of the King's new clothes:

Now there was once a king who was absolutely insane about new clothes and one day, two swindlers came to sell him what they said was a magic suit of clothes. Now, they held up this particular garment and they said, "Your Majesty, this is a magic suit." Well, the truth of the matter is, there was no suit there at all. But the swindlers were very smart, and they said, "Your Majesty, to a wise man this is a beautiful raiment but to a fool it is absolutely invisible." Naturally, the King not wanting to appear a fool, said:

"Isn't it grand! Isn't it fine! Look at the cut, the style, the line!
The suit of clothes is altogether
But altogether it's altogether
The most remarkable suit of clothes that I have ever seen.
These eyes of mine at once determined
The sleeves are velvet, the cape is ermine
The hose are blue and the doublet is a lovely shade of green.
Somebody send for the Queen."

Well they sent for the Queen and they quickly explained to her about themagic suit of clothes. And naturally, the Queen not wanting to appear a fool, said:

"Well, isn't it oh! Isn't it rich! Look at the charm of every stitch!
The suit of clothes is altogether
But altogether it's altogether
The most remarkable suit of clothes that I have ever seen.
These eyes of mine at once determined
The sleeves are velvet, the cape is ermine
The hose are blue and the doublet is a lovely shade of green.
Summon the court to convene."

Well the court convened, and you never saw in your life as many people as were at that court. All the ambassadors, the dukes, the earls, the counts, it was just black with people, and they were all told about the magic suit of clothes. And after they were told they naturally didn't want to appear fools and they said:

"Isn't it ohhh! Isn't it ahhh! Isn't it absolutely wheee! (whistle sound)
The suit of clothes is altogether
But altogether it's altogether
The most remarkable suit of clothes a tailor ever made.
Now quickly, put it altogether
With gloves of leather and hat and feather
It's altogether the thing to wear in Saturday's parade.
Leading the royal brigade."

Now Saturday came and the streets were just lined with thousands, and thousands, and thousands of people, and they all were cheering as the artillery came by, the infantry marched by, the cavalry galloped by. And everybody was cheering like mad, except one little boy. You see, he hadn't heard about the magic suit and didn't know what he was supposed to see. Well, as the King came by the little boy looked and, horrified, said:

"Look at the King! Look at the the King! Look at the King, the King, the King!
The King is in the altogether
But altogether the altogether
He's altogether as naked as the day that he was born.
The King is in the altogether
But altogether the altogether
It's altogether the very least the King has ever worn."

Summon the court physician!  Call an intermission! His majesty is wide open to ridicule and scorn.

The King is in the altogether
But all together the altogether
He's altogether as naked as the day that he was born.
And it's altogether too chilly a morn!

Mommy, Gimme a Drinka Water - Danny Kaye

Mommy, Mommy
Gimme a drinka water
I’m thirsty
I wanna drinka water
No, now, not later, now!
Mommy, what are you doing?
I wanna tell you something
First come in then I’ll tell you
It’s a secret
It’s about Willy and the teacher
And he called her a stupid dope! (ha ha ha)

Mommy, do you hear me?
Gimme a drinka water
Mommy, turn the light on
I can’t see
The chair’s moving
There’s a funny animal on the wall
Are you coming Ma?
There’s an airplane and it’s flying all around
It’s flying in my head

Mommy, Mommy,
Gimme a drinka water
Seymore’s mother always gives him a drinka water
He told me
And sometimes his mother lets him get it himself
And that crazy Barbara in school today
She scratched me
It hurts too
You want to see it, ma?
I need to bandage it up

Mommy, oh, Mommy tell me a story
The one about the king who lived in the woods
And he killed the wicked dragon with his magic sword
That’s the one, tell me that one
Tell me that one Mommy, tell me
I’m gonna tell Daddy you’re not a good Mommy
You never listen to me
You bad, naughty Mommy

Mommy, gimme a drinka water
Gimme a cookie too
Turn the light on
Tell me story
The one about the you know Mommy
Tell me
Tell me a drinka water

All I Want For Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth) With the Andrews Sisters

Christmas comes but once a year so I think it most emphatical that you should ask from Santa Claus something sound and practical.

Like a doll and carriage?

No.

Like a new dress for me and a shiny new suit for you?

No.

Like a mink coat and a house on a lot?

No.

Well then what?

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
My two front teeth, my two front teeth
Gee if I could only have my two front teeth
Then I could wish you Merry Christmas
It seems so long since I could say
Sister Suzy sitting on thistle
Gosh oh gee, how happy I would be
If I could only whistle

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
My two front teeth, my two front teeth
Gee if I could only have my two front teeth
Then I could wish you Merry Christmas

Hey Patty? Yes Danny?
Um, uh, are we ready to write our letters to Santa Claus?
Well naturally.
Well then would you write mine because every time if I sit down if I...well... um... nobody wants to ever.... Could you please write it for me, huh Patty?

Alright, here goes, Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth (and a fire man)
My two front teeth (and a locomotive), my two front teeth (and a yo-yo)
Gee if I could only have my two front teeth (and a choo-choo-train)
Then I could wish you Merry Christmas.

Let's sing it together

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth
My two front teeth, my two front teeth
Gee if I could only have my two front teeth (and a string, and a hoe, and anything else that Santa Claus remembers, ok?)
Then I could wish you Merry Christmas
It seems so long since I could say
Sister Suzy sitting on thistle (I didn't sing it good, eh?)
Gosh oh gee, how happy I would be
If I could only whistle

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth (and a Hopalong Cassidy suit)
My two front teeth (and a water pistol), my two front teeth (and a little puppy dog)
Gee if I could only have my two front teeth (and a Cadillac)
Then I could wish you Merry Christmas.

Tubby the Tuba - Danny Kaye

Once upon a time there was an orchestra
Which was all busy tuning up.
First the oboe gave his A to the strings,
Then to the woodwinds and to the brass.

Up and around the scales they raced helter-skelter,
Faster and faster!
All but Tubby the tuba; he was a fat little tuba
Puffing away, but oh, so slow…

‘Oh what lovely music,’ thought Tubby, and he sighed…
‘Here, what’s the matter,’ said Peepo the Piccolo
‘Oh,’ said Tubby, ‘every time we do a new piece,
You all get such pretty melodies to play
And I, never, never a pretty melody.’

But people never write pretty melodies for tubas. It just isn’t done.
Shhh, there’s the conductor

First, the violins danced their lovely little tune on their strings.
Then they cried to the flute ‘Catch!’
‘Got it!’ cried the flute.
‘My turn,’ tooted the trumpet.
And the rest joined in.

The cello, then the oboe, and the bassoon.
While Tubby went oompah oompah oompah oompah
‘Catch me,’ cried the little tune. ‘Catch me!’
‘Hmhmhmhm, I got you,’ cried Tubby.
‘Oh, you’re sitting on me,’ said the little tune.

Poor Tubby picked up the flat little tune
And tried to squeeze it back into shape.
‘You clumsy fool!’ snapped the violins.
‘I’m sorry, Mr. Fiddle,’ said Tubby.
‘Fiddle? Fiddle, indeed!’
And the violins quivered with great indignation.
‘You will please address us as violins…fiddles, indeed!’

‘Tubby,’ said the conductor. ‘Tubby, what is the matter?’
‘Please, sir, I thought it would be so nice to dance with the pretty little tune. Instead of just going oompah oompah all the time.’

‘Dance?’ laughed the violins. ‘Dance? Well, really!’
The French horn quietly put his hand to his mouth and smiled.
And the whole orchestra began to laugh.
‘Stop it!’ cried the conductor. ‘Stop it, I say!...Tubby.’
‘Please sir, I wasn’t laughing.’ Rehearsal was over.

Tubby was walking home with Peepo the Piccolo.
‘Please Peepo,’ said Tubby, ‘I just feel so bad, I don’t think I want any company.’
‘I understand,’ said Peepo. ‘Good night.’
‘Good night,’ said Tubby.
The moon was out and Tubby went to the river and sat on a log, and he looked at himself in the water.

(sings) Alone am I, me and I together. If I went away from me, how unhappy I would be. Me and I, oh my.

The trees whispered in the wind and the waterfalls tinkled.
Suddenly, a big bullfrog hopped out of the water and sat beside him.
(croaking) Lovely evening, I said lovely evening, I said beautiful evening. Hello, hello, hello?

But Tubby just sat.
‘Oh, well, said the frog. ‘Oh, well, If I’m not wanted…’
‘Oh,’ cried Tubby. ‘Please, Mr. Frog, come back! I didn’t mean to be impolite.’
Back hopped the frog. ‘Oh, that’s all right, I’m used to it. No one pays any attention to me, either.’
‘Really?’ said Tubby.
‘Why, of course. Every night I sit here and sing my heart out, but does anyone listen? No.’

‘Can you sing?’ asked Tubby.
‘Can I sing? Listen.’ (sings a melody)
‘Oh, that’s lovely,’ said Tubby.
‘You try it,’ said the frog.
‘Oh, thank you!’ said Tubby (repeats melody).
‘Say, you’re a very fine tuba, do you know it? Tubby, you should try that on your orchestra some time.’
‘Oh, I will,’ said Tubby. ‘Goodbye, Mr. Frog!’
And off went Tubby, as happy as happy could be.
‘Hmm,’ said the frog. ‘Most appreciative audience I’ve ever had. Fine musician, that tuba. Good night.’

The next day the orchestra was busy tuning up for the rehearsal and buzzing with excitement over the arrival of the great new conductor, Signor Pizzicato.

‘Here he comes!” called the French horn. ‘Here comes Signor Pizzicato.’
(taps stick) ‘All right, gentlemen, let us begin.’ And Tubby began to play—his own little melody. (Plays)
‘Oh, that wretched tuba!’ snapped the violins. ‘He’ll disgrace us.’
The trombone stuck out his tongue (blaahh). And the trumpets snickered (ahahahahah).
‘Tubby,’ said Signor Pizzicato. ‘Tubby, I’ve never heard a tuba play a melody before. Would you play the rest of it?’
“Oh,’ said Tubby. (orchestra plays)
‘Why, how perfectly wonderful,’ said the strings. ‘Please Tubby, may we sing your tune, too?’
‘How about me?’ said the xylophone?
‘And me,’ said the trombone.
‘May I?’ said the cellist.
‘Here I come,’ said Peepo.
And they all played.

‘Well, we’ve done it, haven’t we, Tubby?’ It was the bullfrog sitting right beside him.
‘Oh,’ thought Tubby, ‘how happy I am!’

This Ole House - Rosemary Clooney

This ole house once knew his children
This ole house once knew his wife
This ole house was home and comfort
As they fought the storms of life
This old house once rang with laughter
This old house heard many shouts
Now he trembles in the darkness
When the lightnin' walks about

Ain't a-gonna need this house no longer
Ain't a-gonna need this house no more
Ain't got time to fix the shingles
Ain't got time to fix the floor
Ain't got time to oil the hinges
Nor to mend the window-pane
Ain't a-gonna need this house no longer
He's a-gettin' ready to meet the saints

This ole house is a-gettin' shaky
This ole house is a-gettin' old
This ole house lets in the rain
This ole house lets in the cold
Oh his knees are-a gettin' chilly
But he feel no fear or pain
'Cause he sees an angel peekin'
Through a broken window-pane

This ole house is afraid of thunder
This ole house is afraid of storms
This ole house just groans and trembles
When the night wind flings its arms
This ole house is a-gettin' feeble
This old house is a-needin' paint
Just like him it's tuckered out
But he's a-gettin' ready to meet the saints

Ain't a-gonna need this house no longer
Ain't a-gonna need this house no more
Ain't got time to fix the shingles
Ain't got time to fix the floor
Ain't got time to oil the hinges
Nor to mend the window-pane
Ain't a-gonna need this house no longer
He's a-gettin' ready to meet the saints

I Tawt I saw a Puddy Tat - Mel Blanc

T: I am a little tiny bird, my name is Tweety Pie
I live inside my birdcage a hanging way up high
I like to swing upon my perch and sing my little song
But there's a cat that's after me and won't let me alone

I tawt I taw a puddy tat a creeping up on me
I did I taw a puddy tat as plain as he could be

S: I am that great big bad old cat Sylvester is my name
I only have one aim in life and that is very plain
I want to catch that little bird and eat him right away
But every time that I get close to him this is what he'll say

I tawt I taw a puddy tat a creeping up on me
You bet he saw a puddy tat that puddy tat was me

T: That puddy tat is very bad he sneaks up from behind
I don't think I would like it if I knew what's on his mind
I have a strong suspision that his plans for me aren't good
I am inclined to think that he would eat me if he could

INSTRUMENTAL INTERLUDE

S: I'd like to eat that Tweety Pie when he leaves his cage
But I cannot get close to him it throws me in a rage
You bet I'd eat that little bird if I could just get near
But everytime that I approach this is all I hear

T: I tawt I taw a puddy tat a creeping up on me
I did I taw a puddy tat as plain as he could be

And when I sing that little song my mistress knows he's back
She grabs a broom and brings it down upon Sylvester's back
So listen you bad puddy tat let's both be friends you see
My mistress will not chase you if you sing this song for me
Come on now like a good cat

S: Oh alright...sufferin' sucotash!
B:I tawt i taw a puddy tat a creeping up on me
I did I taw a puddy tat as plain as he could be

Christmas Alphabet - The McGuire Sisters
Words and music by Buddy Kay and Jules Loman

C is for the Candy trimmed around the Christmas tree.
H is for the Happiness with all the family.
R is for the Reindeer prancing by the window pane.
I is for the Icing on the cake as sweet as sugar cane.
S is for the Stocking on the chimney wall.
T is the Toys beneath the tree so tall.
M is for the Mistletoe where ev'ry one is kissed.
A is for the Angels who make up the Christmas list.
S is for old Santa who makes ev'ry kid his pet.
Be good and he'll bring you ev'rything in your Christmas Alphabet.


The Children's Marching Song (Nick Nack Paddy Whack)
Mitch Miller and His Orchestra

(Adapted and arranged by Malcolm Arnold)

<WHISTLING AND DRUMS LEADING>

This old man he played one
He played nick nack on my drum
With a nick nack paddy whack
Give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man he played two
He played nick nack on my shoe
With a nick nack paddy whack
Give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man he played three
He played nick nack on my tree
With a nick nack paddy whack
Give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man he played four
He played nick nack on my door
With a nick nack paddy whack
Give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man he played five
He played nick nack on my hive
With a nick nack paddy whack
Give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

<WHISTLING AND DRUMS INTERLUDE>

This old man he played six
He played nick nack on my stick
With a nick nack paddy whack
Give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man he played seven
He played nick nack up in heaven
With a nick nack paddy whack
Give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man he played eight
He played nick nack on my gate
With a nick nack paddy whack
Give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man he played nine
He played nick nack on my vine
With a nick nack paddy whack
Give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

This old man he played ten
He played nick nack on my hen
With a nick nack paddy whack
Give a dog a bone
This old man came rolling home

Little White Duck - Danny Kaye

There's a little white duck sitting in the water
Little white duck doing what he oughta
He took a bite of a lily pad
Flapped his wings and he said "I'm glad"
That I'm a little white duck sitting in the water
Quack, quack, quack

There's a little green frog swimming in the water
Little green frog doing what he oughta
He jumped right off of the lily pad
That the little duck bit and he said "I'm glad"
That I'm a little green frog swimming in the water
Gulp, gulp, gulp

There's a little black bug floating on the water
A little black bug doing what he oughta
He tickled the frog on the lily pad
That the little duck bit and he said "I'm glad"
That I'm a little black bug floating on the water
Quick, quick, quick

There's a little red snake lying in the water
A little red snake doing what he oughta
He frightened the duck and the frog so bad
And he ate the little bug and he said "I'm glad"
That I'm a little red snake lying in the water
Sss, sss, sss

And now there's nobody left left sitting in the water
Nobody left doing what he oughta
Nothing left but the lily pad
The duck and the frog ran away
There's nobody left sitting in the water
Boo, hoo, hoo

Because of the snake that ate the bug
That tickled the frog
That went kerchug
There's nobody left to sing about alas and alak
Not even the little white duck
Quack quack quack quack

Ragtime Cowboy Joe - The Chipmunks
There may be more interspersed dialogue on an actual Chipmunk
recording since that is the style of their records.
(Grant Clarke, Lewis Muir and Maurice Abrahams)

Out in Arizona where the bad men are,
And the only friend to guide you is an Evening Star,
The roughest, toughest man by far
Is Ragtime Cowboy Joe.
Got his name from singing to the cows and sheep
Every night they say he sings the herd to sleep
In a basso rich and deep,
Crooning soft and low

cho: How he sings raggy music to his cattle
As he swings back and forward in his saddle
On his horse (a pretty good horse)
Who is syncopated gaited
And with such a funny meter
To the roar of his repeater

How they run when they hear the feller's gun
Because the western folks all know:
He's a hifalootin' scootin', shootin'
Son-of-a-gun from Arizona
Ragtime cowboy (talk about your cowboy)
Ragtime cowboy Joe.

Dressed up ev'ry Sunday in his Sunday clothes
He beats it for the village where he always goes,
And ev'ry girl in town is Joe's
'Cause he's a ragtime bear;
When he starts a-spieling on the dance hall floor,
No one but a lunatic would start a war
Wise men know his forty-four
Makes men dance for fair.

Little White Bull - Tommy Steele
(Decca, 1959, Bart - Pratt - Bennett)
From the film "Tommy The Toreador"

Once upon a time there was a little white bull
Very sad, because he was a little white bull
(Little white bull)
All the black bulls called him a coward
Just 'cause he was white
Only black bulls go to the bullring
Only black bulls fight
When he asked his mama if a little white bull
(Little white bull)
Ever had a chance of turning black
His mama said, you silly little bull
You're a pretty little bull
You're my little bull
So please don't ask me why, little bull
You just ain't black!
But this did not satisfy that little white bull
(Little white bull)
He was an exception to that little white rule
(Little white rule)
Everyday alone in the meadow, he'd find things to charge
Till one day he really imagined, that his horns were large
Bold as brass right then and then, the little white bull
(Little white bull)
Quickly found the nearest road to town
And people said, what a funny little bull
What a fluffy little bull, he's our little bull
He marched along, a proud little bull
And hit the town!

It was the day of the bullfight, all the town were there
Waiting to see the famous matador
Trumpeters sounded a fanfare, tam-ta-da-dam-tam-taaa!
Out from the throats of the crowd came a mighty roar
Into the ring to the shout of a great olé (olé!)
Came the parade, all prepared for a mighty fray
Matadors and picadors and toreadors
And who do you think as well?
Trotting right behind them came the little white bull
(The little white bull)
How they laughed out loud to see the little white bull
(Little white bull)
Trotting 'round the giant arena, with his head up high
Till the matador in the centre caught his tiny eye
Charging right up to him went the little white bull
(Little white bull)
Charging twice and charging once again
The matador cried, torro little bull!
You're not a little bull, you're a brave little bull
You're gonna be a great little bull
The best in Spain!
Then the crowd all shouted, torro little bull!
You're not a little bull, you're a brave little bull
You're gonna be a great little bull
The best in Spain!
So if you got a little bull, that's a white little bull
It's quite possible that it might be the bull
That's the best in Spain

She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain

She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes
She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes
She'll be coming round the mountain
Coming round the mountain
Coming round the mountain when she comes
Singing eye-yai-yippee-yippe-yai
Yippe-yai
Singing eye-yai-yippee-yippe-yai
Yippe-yai
Singing eye-yai-yippee, Eye-yai-yippee
Eye-yai-yippee-yippe-yai

She'll be wearing pink pyjamas when she comes
She'll be wearing pink pyjamas when she comes
She'll be wearing pink pyjamas
Wearing pink pyjamas
Wearing pink pyjamas when she comes
Singing eye-yai-yippee-yippe-yai
Yippe-yai
Singing eye-yai-yippee-yippe-yai
Yippe-yai
Singing eye-yai-yippee, Eye-yai-yippee
Eye-yai-yippee-yippe-yai

She'll be riding six white horses when she comes
She'll be riding six white horses
Riding six white horses
Riding six white horses when she comes
Singing eye-yai-yippee-yippe-yai
Yippe-yai
Singing eye-yai-yippee-yippe-yai
Yippe-yai
Singing eye-yai-yippee, Eye-yai-yippee
Eye-yai-yippee-yippe-yai

Beep Beep (The Bubble Car Song) - The Playmates

While riding in my limousine
What to my surprise
A little Bubble Car was following me
About one-third my size
The guy must have wanted to pass me out
As he kept on tooting his horn <sound of horn - beep beep!>
I'll show him that a limousine Is not a car to scorn <chorus>

I pushed my foot down to the floor
To give the guy the shake
But the little Bubble Car stayed right behind
He still had on his brake
He must have thought his car had more guts
As he kept on tooting his horn <sound of horn - beep beep!>
I'll show him that a limousine Is not a car to scorn <chorus>

My car went in to passing gear
And we took off with gust
And soon we were doing ninety
Must have left him in the dust
When I peeked in the mirror of my car
I couldn't believe my eyes
The little Bubble Car was right behind
You'd think that guy could fly <chorus>

Now we're doing a hundred and ten
It certainly was a race
For a Bubble to pass a limo
Would be a big disgrace
The guy must have wanted to pass me out
As he kept on tooting his horn I'll show him that a limousine Is
not a car to scorn <chorus>

Now we're doing a hundred and twenty
As fast as I could go
The Bubble pulled alongside of me
As if we were going slow
The fellow rolled his window down
And yelled for me to hear

"Hey buddy how can I get this car out... of... second gear!"
<chorus>
Beep beep <sound of horn - beep beep!> Beep beep <beep beep> His
horn went beep beep beep <beep beep>

Me and My Teddy Bear

In the house next door right next to mine
a little boy lives there
at Xmas time dear Santa Claus
brought him a teddy bear

He loves his little teddy bear
he's with it all day long
and the sweetest thing I've ever heard
is to hear him sing this song

Me and my teddy bear
have no worries, have no cares
me and my teddy bear
just play and play all day

I love my teddy bear
he has one eye and has no hair
but I love my teddy bear
we play and play all day

Every night he's with me
when I climb up the stairs
and by my bed he listens
until I say my prayers

Oh, me and my teddy bear
have no worries, have no cares
me and my teddy bear
just play and play all day

Every night he's with me
when I climb up the stairs
and by my bed he listens
until I say my prayers

Oh, me and my teddy bear
have no worries, have no cares
me and my teddy bear
just play and play all day
just play and play all day

You're a Pink Toothbrush, I'm a Blue Toothbrush

You're a pink toothbrush, I'm a blue toothbrush
Have we met somewhere before?
You're a pink toothbrush and I think toothbrush
That we met by the bathroom door.

Glad to meet toothbrush, such a sweet toothbrush
How you thrill me through and through
Dont be hard toothbrush on a soft toothbrush
'Cause I cant help loving you.

Every time I hear you whistle...... it makes my nylon bristle.......

You're a pink toothbrush, I'm a blue toothbrush
Won't you marry me in haste?
I'll be true toothbrush, just to you toothbrush
When we both use the same toothpaste.

The Laughing Policeman

I know a fat old policeman
He's always on our street
A fat and jolly red-faced man
He really is a treat

He's too kind for a policeman
He's never known to frown
And everybody says
He is the happiest man in town!

He laughs upon point duty
He laughs upon his beat
He laughs at everybody
When he's walking in the street

He never can stop laughing
He says he's never tried
But once he did arrest a man
And laughed until he cried!

His jolly face is wrinkled
And then he shut his eyes
He opened his great big mouth
It was a wonderous size!

He said: "I must arrest you!"
He didn't know what for
And then he started laughing
Until he cracked his jaw!

So if you chance to meet him
While walking 'round the town
Shake him by his fat ol' hand
And give him half a crown

His eyes will beam and sparkle
He'll gurgle with delight
And then you'll start him laughing
With all his blessed might!

When you come to the end of a lollipop

When you come to the end of a lollipop,
To the end, to the end, of a lollipop,
When you come to the end of a lollipop,
Plop goes your heart!

Gilly Oh golly, Oh I love my lolly,
Down to the very last lick,
But when you are through with it, what can you do with it,
All you have left is the stick.

When you come to the end of a lollipop,
To the end, to the end, of a lollipop,
When you come to the end of a lollipop,
Plop goes your heart!

Gilly Oh golly, Oh I love my lolly,
Come winter and summer and spring.
But when you are done it's about as much fun,
As a yoyo without any string.

When you come to the end of a lollipop,
To the end, to the end, of a lollipop,
When you come to the end of a lollipop,
Plop goes your heart!

Plop goes your heart!

Twenty Tiny Fingers

Twenty tiny fingers, Twenty tiny toes
Two angel faces, Each with a turned up nose
One looks like Mommy, With a cute little curl on top
And the other ones got, A big bald spot
Exactly like his Pop Pop Pop, Pop a da Pop Pop, Pop Pop

I put on the light in the middle of the night and whispered "Dear lets go!"
He grabbed his sock and called the Doc, He told me "Dont be slow!"
He got me there with time to spare and then he sat on pins
Until the doctor shook his hand and told him "You've got twins!"

Twenty tiny fingers, Twenty tiny toes
Two angel faces, Each with a turned up nose
One looks like Mommy, With a cute little curl on top
And the other ones got, A big bald spot
Exactly like his Pop Pop Pop, Pop a da Pop Pop, Pop Pop

We've got cribs and bottles and bibs, all round our three room flat
No time to see what's on TV, no room to swing a cat
We're on the run, we're never done, it's like a steeplechase
Oh they came in and they took over like they owned the place

Twenty tiny fingers, Twenty tiny toes
Two angel faces, Each with a turned up nose
One looks like Mommy, With a cute little curl on top
And the other ones got, A big bald spot
Exactly like his Pop Pop Pop, Pop a da Pop Pop, Pop Pop

Twice the laundry, twice the milk, it's twice the baby clothes
Its double this and double that, oh how the money goes
But Pa and me, we both agree, when all is said and done
We’ve got twice the blessings and we’ve got twice the fun.

Twenty tiny fingers, Twenty tiny toes
Two angel faces, Each with a turned up nose
One looks like Mommy, With a cute little curl on top
And the other ones got, A big bald spot
Exactly like his Pop Pop Pop, Pop a da Pop Pop, Pop Pop

A Four Legged Friend

A Four Legged Friend -- A Four Legged Friend
He'll Never Let You Down
He's Honest And Faithful Right Up To The End
That Wonderful One Two Three Four Legged Friend

A Woman's Like Cactus And Cactus Can Hurt
'Cause She's Just A Tight Waisted Winky Eyed Flirt
She'll Soon Have Your Land And Your Pride And Your Gold
And Bury You Deep Long Before You Grow Old

Repeat Chorus

Inst. Solo: G - G - C - C - D7 - D7 - G - G - C - C - D7 - D7 - D7 - G - G

A Two Legged Hombre Is Worthless As Sand
He'll Smile Like A Saint With A Gun In His Hand
He'll Promise To Stick By Your Side Like A Pal
But He'll Also Promise The Same To Your Gal

Repeat Chorus

Inst. Solo: G - G - C - C - D7 - D7 - G - G - C - C - D7 - D7 - D7 - G - G

Who Carries Your Burden -- Who Carries Your Load
On Tumbleweed Land Or A Long Dusty Road
Who Asks You No Questions Who Tells You No Lies
That Four Legged Friend With The Two Honest Eyes

A Four Legged Friend -- A Four Legged Friend
He'll Never Let You Down
He's Honest And Faithful Right Up To The End
That Wonderful Four Legged Friend

That Wonderful One Two Three Four Legged Friend ---- Whoa Trigger.

The Animals went in Two by Two

The animals went in two by two, hurrah, hurrah,
The animals went in two by two, hurrah, hurrah.
The animals went in two by two,
The elephant and the kangaroo
And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain.

The animals went in three by three, hurrah, hurrah,
The animals went in three by three, hurrah, hurrah.
The animals went in three by three,
The wasp, the ant and the bumble bee,
And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain.

The animals went in four by four, hurrah, hurrah,
The animals went in four by four, hurrah, hurrah.
The animals went in four by four,
The big hippopotamus stuck in the door,
And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain.

The animals went in five by five, hurrah, hurrah,
The animals went in five by five, hurrah, hurrah,
The animals went in five by five,
By hugging each other they kept alive,
And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain.

The animals went in six by six, hurrah, hurrah,
The animals went in six by six, hurrah, hurrah.
The animals went in six by six,
They turned out the monkey because of his tricks,
And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain.

The animals went in seven by seven, hurrah, hurrah,
The animals went in seven by seven, hurrah, hurrah,
The animals went in seven by seven,
The little pig thought it was going to heaven,
And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain.

The animals went in eight by eight, hurrah, hurrah,
The animals went in eight by eight, hurrah, hurrah,
The animals went in eight by eight,
The turtle thought he was coming late,
And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain.

The animals went in nine by nine, hurrah, hurrah,
The animals went in nine by nine, hurrah, hurrah,
The animals went in nine by nine,
Marching up in a long straight line,
And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain.

The animals went in ten by ten, hurrah, hurrah,
The animals went in ten by ten, hurrah, hurrah,
The animals went in ten by ten,
The last one in was the little red hen,
And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain,
And they all went into the ark, for to get out of the rain.

The Happy Wanderer

I love to go a-wandering along the mountain track,
And as I go, I love to sing, my knapsack on my back.

Val-da-ree, val-da-rah,
Val-da-ree, val-da-rah ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Val-da-ree, val-da-rah,
My knapsack on my back.

I love to wander by the stream that dances in the sun;
So joyously it calls to me, "Come, join my happy song!"

Val-da-ree, val-da-rah,
Val-da-ree, val-da-rah ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Val-da-ree, val-da-rah,
Come, join my happy song.

I wave my hat to all I meet, and they wave back to me,
And blackbirds call so loud and sweet from ev'ry green wood tree.

Val-da-ree, val-da-rah,
Val-da-ree, val-da-rah ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Val-da-ree, val-da-rah,
From ev'ry green wood tree.

Oh, may I go a-wandering until the day I die;
Oh, may I always laugh and sing beneath God's clear blue sky.

Val-da-ree, val-da-rah,
Val-da-ree, val-da-rah ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Val-da-ree, val-da-rah,
Beneath God's clear blue sky.

The Yellow Rose of Texas

There's a yellow rose of Texas
That I am going to see
No other soldier knows her
No soldier, only me.
She cried so when I left her
It like to broke my heart
And if I ever find her
We never more will part.

She's the sweetest rose of color
This soldier ever knew
Her eyes are bright as diamonds
They sparkle like the dew.
You may talk about your dearest May
And sing of Rosa Lee
But the Yellow Rose of Texas
Beats the belles of Tennessee.

Oh, my heart is feeling weary
And my head is hanging low
I'm goin' back to Georgy
To find my Uncle Joe.
You may talk about your Beauregard
And sing of Bobby Lee
But the Gallant Hood of Texas
He raised Hell in Tennessee.

Bimbo

Bimbo Bimbo where ya gonna go-e-o
Bimbo Bimbo whatcha gonna do-e-o
Bimbo Bimbo does your mommy know
That you're goin' down the road to see a little girl-e-o

Bimbo is a little boy who's got a million friends
And every time he passed by they all invite him in
He'll clap his hands and sing and dance and talk his baby talk
With a hole in his pants and his knees stickin' out he's just big enough to walk
Bimbo Bimbo where ya gonna go-e-o...

Bimbo's got two big blue eyes that light up like the stars
And the only way to light them up is to buy him candy bars
Cracker jacks and bubble gum will start his day off right
All the girlies follow him just a begging for a bite
Bimbo Bimbo candy on your face-e-o Bimbo Bimbo chewin' on your gum-e-o
Bimbo Bimbo when you gonna grow everybody loves your little bitty Bimbio

[ steel ]

You never catch him sittin' still he's just the roving kind
Although he's just a little boy he's got a grown up mind
He's always got a shaggy dog a pulling out his clothes
And everybody calls to him as down the street he goes
Bimbo Bimbo where ya gonna go-e-o...
Bimbo Bimbo Bimbo Bimbo

Barney The Bashful Bullfrog

Barney was a bashful bullfrog but he was very sad
All day long he sat upon his great big lily pad
Now Barney never had a girl because he was too shy.
So when evening rolled around the tears would dim his eyes
and he’d go............

ow ow ow ow

Croaking all night long

ow ow ow ow

It was a lonesome song

And though the moon was shining bright, romance never found him
Barney the Bashful Bullfrog was too shy to look around him
Then one day he was sitting on a hollow log
Hopping down the path he saw a pretty lady frog
She had such a lovely smile and great big eyes of blue
and when she stopped and winked at him  he didn't know what to do

She went….ow ow ow ow

As his face turned red

ow ow ow ow

The lady frog then said.
“You have such a manly voice the kind of which I’m fond of
Why don’t we croak together beside the lily pond.

And so they spent their days together on the lily pad
 And though he was too shy to show it Barney was so glad
 And every night when fireflies came out to look around, they would hear them
singing together on the lily pond

They went:  ow ow ow ow

Their voices rang so clear and everyone could hear them
And so they sang together  each night on the shore and Barney the
bashful bullfrog wasn’t bashful anymore.

Now Barney was so bashful he wouldn't pop the question
And so they finally married at the lady frog’s suggestion
They were so happy as they swam around the mud hole
It wasn't long before they had a lot of little tadpoles.

They went:   squeak squeak squeak

It was a happy tune
And if you open up your eyes you'll be happy too
Like Barney the Bashful Bullfrog you’ll find someone for you.

Little Boy Fishin' Off a Wooden Pier

Little boy fishin off a wooden pier
Come fish, bite fish, swim along here
Little boy wonder why the fish don't float
Little boy wanna buy a fishin boat

Little boy fishin off a wooden pier
Come fish, bite fish, swim along here
Little boy got to buy boat some way
Then he go fishin all the live long day

Dog fish, cat fish, any this or that fish
Please swim by my line
Can't catch shell fish, but I want to sell fish
Got to make some money for that boat of mine

Little boy dreaming with a secret smile
Some day sail away cannibal isle
Little boy wonder when his boat will come
Little boy slumber now the day is done

Dreaming is nothing if it ain't worth while
Keep on dreaming little man-child
Many a general would eat his hat
To give away talking and to do just that

Little boy richer than a millionaire
All he got is trouble and care
Soon enough little boy'll grow big man
Then he go fishing for the frying pan

Dog fish, cat fish, any this or that fish
Please swim by my line
Can't catch shell fish, but I want to sell fish
Got to make some money for that boat of mine

Little boy fishin off a wooden pier
Come fish, bite fish, swim along here
Little boy sleepy and he sail away
In his dreamboat down to Blanket Bay

Buttons and Bows

East is east and west is west
And the wrong one I have chose
Let's go where You'll keep on wearin'
Those frills and flowers and buttons and bows
Rings and things and buttons and bows

Don't bury me on the lone prairie
Take me where the cement grows
Let's move down to some big town
Where they love a gal by the cut o' her clothes
And You'll stand out in buttons and bows

I'll love you in buckskin
Or skirts that I've homespun
But I'll love ya' longer, stronger
where yer friends don't tote a gun

My bones denounce the buckboard bounce
And the cactus hurts my toes
Let's vamoose to where gals keep wearin'
Those silks and satins and linen that shows
And I'm all yours in buttons and bows

Gimme eastern trimmin'
Where women are women
In high silk hose and peek-a-boo clothes
And French perfume that rocks the room
And I'm all yours in buttons and bows

Little Red Monkey

Look at the monkey, funny monkey, Little Red Monkey, acting so fidgety.
Look at the monkey, funny monkey, Little Red Monkey, cute as can be.

Where is his Mama, Papa, Sister, Brother, Cousin, rest of the family?
Little Red Monkey on his ownsome, very lonesome monkey is he.

Listen carefully Dick and Jimmy 'cause here is a job for you,
If you get him into the zoo, he'd do all of his tricks for you.
Why not drop him a line or two, inviting him to the zoo, for if we do...

He'll be a happy, snappy monkey, Little Red Mokey, acting so merrily.
We hope you like this Little Red Monkey, very lonesome monkey is he.

Look at the monkey, funny monkey, Little Red Monkey, acting so fidgety.
Get out your fiddle and play him a tune Dick, very lonesome monkey is he.

Don't think the monkey liked that, Bentley. Seems to be jumpy, acting so fidgety.
You cheer him up, Jimmy, with your Euphonium, Little Red Monkey cute as can be.

Oh, JIm, didn't he love it too.
If you listen, he'll talk to you.
He will chatter the whole day through.

Now he's a snappy, happy monkey, Little Red Monkey, acting so merrily,
Gee, how we like this Little Red Monkey, very cuddlesome monkey is he.

Little, Red Monkey, Little Red Monkey, won't you stay to tea?

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly.
I dunno why she swallowed that fly,
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a spider,
That wriggled and jiggled and wiggled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly -
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a bird;
How absurd, to swallow a bird!
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and wiggled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly -
Perhaps she'll die

There was an old lady who swallowed a cat.
Imagine that, she swallowed a cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird ...
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and wiggled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die

There was an old lady who swallowed a dog.
What a hog! To swallow a dog!
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat...
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird ...
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and wiggled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a goat.
Just opened her throat and swallowed a goat!
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog ...
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat.
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird ...
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and wiggled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a cow.
I don't know how she swallowed a cow!
She swallowed the cow to catch the goat... She swallowed the goat to catch the dog...
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat...
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird ...
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider
That wriggled and jiggled and wiggled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.
But I dunno why she swallowed that fly
Perhaps she'll die.

There was an old lady who swallowed a horse -
She's dead, of course.

My Brother

Phorr, there’s something funny round ‘ere. What is it?
Oh, it’s you. Come ‘ere and sit down.
You’re gonna ‘ave the truth told about you and put on record.
‘Ere, please do not sit too close to me, I’ve just ‘ad my breakfast. Thank you.


Who put salt in the sugar bowl? Who put fireworks in the coal?
Who put a real live toad-in-the-’ole? My brother!
Who put jam in mother’s shoe? Who made real caterpillar stew?
Who locked Granddad in the loo? My brother!

My brother said it wasn’t he who put shampoo in Grandma’s tea
My brother said that it was me – my brother’s rotten.
Who squeezed toothpaste round the hall? Who put soot in the baby’s ball?
Who drew things on the garden wall? My brother!


You wanna see what he drew. Phorr, what a surprise.
Nobody knew what it was really, but everybody ‘ad a jolly good idea.
An’ ‘e wrote slogans. “Down with young mothers”, that was one.
‘Cos ‘e don’t think my mum knows ‘ow to brings us up right. I don’t think so either.
You know, every night when we’re wide awake, she make us go to bed.
And then in the morning when we’re fast asleep, she makes us get up.


Whose pet mouse made Auntie shriek? Who ate glue and couldn’t speak?
What clever dick was sick for a week? My brother!
Who keeps maggots in a tin? Plays the twist on ‘is violin?
Who’s been gettin’ at the gin? My brother!


He looks just like a chimney sweep, but dirt, they say, is just skin deep.
I know he’s good when he’s asleep. But you don’t know what he’s dreamin’ about do ya?


Who wouldn’t mind if I ride his bike? Who let’s me shoot his gun if I like?
Who says I’m best at - football, ludo, snakes & ladders, ‘ide & seek,
Chasin’ each other up an’ down the garden, pinching little girls up the ‘igh street.
Well, he’s gotta say I’m best, ‘cos I’m bigger than ‘e is
An’ if ‘e don’t say I’m best at everything, I’ll bash ‘im. Ha Ha.
My lovely, lovely brother.


Come on, come on mate, let’s get you out of ‘ere before you fall down the ‘ole in the middle.
Come on, give us yer ‘and, we’re gonna walk …..
‘Ere, ‘ere, what ‘ave you ‘ad in yer ‘and? ‘Ave yer? Phorr!!

Three Wheels on my Wagon

Three wheels on my wagon,
And I’m still rolling along
The Cherokees are chasing me
Arrows fly, right on by
But I’m singing a happy song

I’m singing a higgity, haggity, hoggety, high
Pioneers, they never say die
A mile up the road there’s a hidden cave
And we can watch those Cherokees
Go galloping by

SPOKEN: “George, they’re catching up to us!”
“Get back in the wagon woman!”

Two wheels on my wagon,
And I’m still rolling along
Them Cherokees are after me
Flaming spears, burn my ears
But I’m singing a happy song

I’m singing a higgity, haggity hoggety, high
Pioneers, they never say die
Half a mile up the road there’s a hidden cave
And we can watch those Cherokees
Go galloping by

SPOKEN: “Duh, Paw? Are you sure this is the right road?”
“Will you hush up? You and your maps!”

One wheel on my wagon,
And I’m still rolling along
Them Cherokees after me
I’m all in flames, at the reins
But I’m singing a happy song

I’m singing a higgity, haggity hoggety, high
Pioneers, they never say die
Right around that turn there’s a hidden cave
And we can watch those Cherokees
Go galloping by

SPOKEN: “George? Should I get the bag of beads and trinkets?”
“Woman, I know what I’m doing!”

No wheels on my wagon,
So I’m not rolling along
The Cherokees captured me
They look mad, things look bad
But I’m singing a happy song

SPOKEN: “C’mon all you Cherokees sing along with me!”

Higgity, haggity hoggety, high
Pioneers, they never say die…

Michael Row the Boat Ashore

Michael row the boat ashore, Hallelujah!
Michael row the boat ashore, Hallelujah!

Jordan's river is chilly and cold, Hallelujah!
But it warms the human soul, Hallelujah!
This old world is a mighty big place, Hallelujah
It got Satan all over its face, Hallelujah
Michael row the boat ashore, Hallelujah!
Michael row the boat ashore, Hallelujah!

They put Daniel in the lion's den, Hallelujah
And he walked right out again, Hallelujah
The reason them felines permitted that, Hallelujah,
Was that Daniel had no fat, Hallelujah
Michael row the boat ashore, Hallelujah!
Michael row the boat ashore, Hallelujah!

Did you hear what old Jonah said, Hallelujah
When the world thought he was dead, Hallelujah
I was taking' me a ride, Hallelujah
In that big old whales inside, Hallelujah
Michael row the boat ashore, Hallelujah!
Michael row the boat ashore, Hallelujah!

Old man Noah built an ark, Hallelujah
Worked from dawn 'til after dark, Hallelujah
When he left for foreign shores, Hallelujah
Had a big family but had no oars, Hallelujah
Michael row the boat ashore, Hallelujah!
Michael row the boat ashore, Hallelujah!

They nailed Jesus to the Cross, Hallelujah
But his faith was never lost, Hallelujah
So Christian soldiers off to war, Hallelujah
Hold that line in Arkansas, Hallelujah
Michael row the boat ashore, Hallelujah!
Michael row the boat ashore, Hallelujah!

Joshua at Jericho, Hallelujah
Alabama's next to go, Hallelujah
So Mississippi kneel and pray, Hallelujah
Some more buses on the way, Hallelujah
Michael row the boat ashore, Hallelujah!
Michael row the boat ashore, Hallelujah!

Puff The Magic Dragon

Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee.
Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal Puff
And brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff, oh

Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee.
Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honalee.

Together they would travel on boat with billowed sail
Jackie kept a lookout perched on Puff's gigantic tail
Noble kings and princes would bow whene'er they came
Pirate ships would lower their flags when Puff roared out his name, oh

CHORUS

A dragon lives forever, but not so little boys
Painted wings and giants's rings make way for other toys.
One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And Puff that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain
Puff no longer went to play along the cherry lane.
Without his lifelong friend, Puff could not be brave
So, Puff that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave, oh

CHORUS

Hey Little Hen

Hey! Little hen! When, when, when will you lay me an egg for my tea?
Hey! Little hen! When, when, when will you try to supply one for me?
Get into your nest, do your little best. Get it off your chest. I can do the rest.
Hey! Little hen! When, when, when, will you lay me an egg for my tea?

 

Around The Corner (Looking for Henry Lee)

Tonight all the folks will cut the corn, (cut the corn)
Tonight I'll be glad that I was born, (I was born)
For my Henry Lee I'll see, he'll be cutting corn with me
And we'll meet beneath the bitterberry tree


CHORUS: Hey 'round the corner, yoooh, oooh
Beneath the berry tree
Along the footpath behind the bush
Looking for Henry Lee

Tonight all the stars are shining bright, (shining bright)
Tonight all the cornfields are a sight, (are a sight)
I have reached the meeting spot, but Henry Lee has not
And I wonder can it be that he forgot?

CHORUS

Tonight as the moon begins to sink, (sink sink)
Tonight there are footsteps which I think, (which I think)
Will at last bring him to me, my beloved Henry Lee
But I wonder why so late he has to be

CHORUS

"Oh Henry Lee, why did you make me wait?"
"I'm late because I had another date"
It was plain for me to see he'd been keeping company
With another girl beneath another tree

CHORUS

Tonight all the folks will cut the corn
Tonight I'm alone and all forlorn
For my Henry Lee was fickle so I used my little sickle
Now the blood beneath the berry tree does trickle

CHORUS

Pretty Little Black Eyed Susie

I love the sea, I love the navy
Love my biscuits soaked in gravy
But pretty little black eyed Susie
But pretty little black eyed Susie
Cross my heart I love ya best of all

I love the hills, I love the prairie
I love Jane, and I love Mary
But pretty little black eyed Susie
But pretty little black eyed Susie
Cross my heart I love ya best of all

I'm as happy as a king
Got the world upon a string
Can't ask for more
I'm right at heaven's door

Ooooh! I used to do a lot of teasin'
Changed my gals with ev'ry season
But pretty little black eyed Susie
But pretty little black eyed Susie
Pretty little black eyed Susie I love you

(Orchestral Interlude)

I love my pipe, I love tomaters
I love candied sweet pertaters
But pretty little black eyed Susie
But pretty little black eyed Susie
Cross my heart I love ya best of all

Oh! I love the trees, I love the flowers
Love to walk through April showers
But pretty little black eyed Susie
But pretty little black eyed Susie
Cross my heart I love ya best of all

Used to say I'd never wed
Those were foolish words I said
`cos now I see
That you were meant for me

Ooooh! I used to be a guy who gambled
I had wand'rin' shoes that rambled
But pretty little black eyed Susie
But pretty little black eyed Susie
Cross my heart my ramblin' days are through
Pretty little black eyed Susie I love you
My pretty little black eyed Susie I love you

Run, Rabbit, Run

On the farm, Ev'ry Friday
On the farm, It's rabbit pie day
So ev'ry Friday, that ever comes along
I get up early,And sing this little song...

Refrain 1
Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run
Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run
Bang, bang, bang, bang! goes the farmer's gun
Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run

Refrain 2
Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run
Don't give the farmer his fun, fun,fun
He'll get by without his rabbit pie
So run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run

Verse 2
On the farm,No poor rabbit
Comes to harm, Because I grab it
They jump and frolic, Whenever I go by
They know I help 'em, To dodge the rabbit pie!

(then sing refrain twice more)

The Whistling Gipsy Rover

The gypsy rover came over the hill
Down through the valley so shady
He whistled and he sang till the green woods rang
And he won the heart of a lady

Howdy-do, howdy-do-da-day
Howdy-do, howdy-day Oh
He whistled as he sang till the green woods rang
Andhe won the heart of a lady

She left her fathers castle gate
She left her own true lover
She left her serv ants and her estate
To follow the gypsy rover
Chorus

Her father saddled up his fastest steed
Roamed the valleys all over
He sought his daughter at great speed
And the whistlin' gypsy rover
Chorus

He came at last to a mansion fine
Down by the river Clady
And there was music and there was wine
For the gypsy and his lady
Chorus

He is no gypsy, father said she
But lord ofthese lands all over
And I shall stay till my dying day
With my whistlin' gypsy rover
Chorus

The Blue-Tailed Fly

Big old owl with eyes so bright,
On many a dark and starry night.
I've often heard my true love say,
Sing all night and sleep all day.

CHORUS: Jimmy crack corn, I don't care;
Jimmy crack corn, I don't care,
Jimmy crack corn, I don't care
My Master's gone away

Said the blackbird to the crow,
Down to the cornfield let us go;
Pulling up corn has been our trade,
Ever since Adam and Eve was made.

Said the she drake to the crane:
When do you think we'll have some rain?
The farm's so muddy and the brook so dry,
If it wasn't for tadpoles, we'd all die.

When I was a boy I used to wait
On Master's table and pass the plate,
Hand round the bottle when he got dry,
And brush away the blue-tailed fly.

In the Middle of the House

The railroad comes through the middle of the house
The railroad comes through the middle of the house
The trains all come through the middle of the house
Since the company bought the land.

They let us live in the front of the house
They let us live in the back
But there ain't no living in the middle of the house
'Cause that's the railroad track.

When a bill collector comes to the house
He knocks and bangs on the door
So we sit him right down in the middle of the house
And he never comes back no more
No, he never comes back no more.

The railroad comes through the middle of the house
The railroad comes through the middle of the house
It comes and goes through the middle of the house
And the trains are all on time
And here comes the 5:09.

The railroad comes through the middle of the house
The in and out of the middle of the house
Right smack dab through the middle of the house
Where the parlor used to be.

There's a great big door in the front of the house
There's a little old door in the back
But we can't have doors in the middle of the house
'Cause that's the railroad track.

A relative came to visit the house
He liked to scream and fuss
So we sat him right down in the middle of the house
And he never more bothered us
No, he never more bothered us.

Oh, the railroad comes through the middle of the house
The railroad comes through the middle of the house
It comes and goes through the middle of the house
Since the trains are all on time.

I'm singing this song in the middle of the house.

Another Version ends with:

Since the company bought the land.

Que Sera, Sera

When I was just a little girl,
I asked my mother, 'What will I be?
'Will I be pretty?
'Will I be rich?'
Here's what she said to me:

'Que sera, sera,
'Whatever will be, will be;
'The future's not ours to see.
'Que sera, sera,
'What will be, will be.

When I grew up and fell in love,
I asked my sweetheart, 'What lies ahead?
'Will we have rainbows
'day after day?'
Here's what my sweetheart said:

'Que sera, sera,
'Whatever will be, will be;
'The future's not ours to see.
'Que sera, sera,
'What will be, will be.'

Now I have children of my own,
They ask their mother, 'What will I be?
'Will I be handsome?
'Will I be rich?'
I tell them tenderly:

'Que sera, sera,
'Whatever will be, will be;
'The future's not ours to see.
'Que sera, sera,
'What will be, will be.'
(finale)QUE SERA SERA

The Mama Doll Song

I once had a doll that was all dressed in white
I called her my baby and I'd hold her tight.
Her eyes were so blue and her cheeks were so red
But I loved her most of all each time she said,

Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama,
One little word she knew
Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama,
To me it meant I love you.

My dolly was waiting when I'd want to play
And I always knew what she wanted each day
I'd wash her and feed her and put her to bed
But I'd never leave her until she said

Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama,
One little word she knew
Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama,
To me it meant I love you.

Then came the time I remember the day
I wrapped her in paper and put her away
Now I've got a secret sometimes when I'm blue
I still get a thrill again listening to

Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama,
One little word she knew
Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama,
To me it meant I love you.

Gilly, Gilly Ossenfeffer..

In a tiny house, by a tiny stream,
Lived a lovely lass, who had a lovely dream.
And her dream came true, quite unexpectedly in
Gilly, Gilly, Ossenfeffer Katsenellenbogen-by-the-sea.

She was out one day, where the tulips grow,
When a handsome lad, stopped to say hello.
And before she knew he kissed her tenderly in
Gilly, Gilly, Ossenfeffer Katsenellenbogen-by-the-sea

The happy pair were married one Sunday afternoon.
They left the church and ran away
To spend their honeymoon....

In a tiny house, by a tiny stream,
Where the lovely lass had a lovely dream.
And the last I heard, they still live happily in
Gilly, Gilly, Ossenfeffer Katsenellenbogen-by-the-sea
In Gilly, Gilly, Ossenfeffer Katsenellenbogen-by-the-sea.

So now you've heard the story of how it all begun,
"I think I'd like to go there", that's a good idee-a, son.

Sing it very soft, pianissimo,
Like a little bird walking in the snow
That was very nice, now sing it merrily,
It's Gilly, Gilly, Ossenfeffer Katsenellenbogen-by-the-sea
Ssh! Gilly, Gilly, Ossenfeffer Katsenellenbogen-by-the-sea
NOW! Gilly, Gilly, Ossenfeffer Katsenellenbogen-by-the-sea

The Black Hills of Dakota

Take me back to the black hills
The black hills of Dakota
To the beautiful Indian country
That I lo-ove

Lost my heart in the black hills
The black hills of Dakota
Where the pines are so high
That they kiss the sky above

And when I get that lonesome feelin'
And I'm miles away from home
I hear the voice of the mystic mountains
Callin' me back home

So take me back to the black hills
The black hills of Dakota
To the beautiful Indian country
That I love

And when I get that lonesome feelin'
And I'm miles away from home
I hear the voice of the mystic mountains
Callin' me back home

So take me back to the black hills
The black hills of Dakota
To the beautiful Indian country
That I love

To the beautiful Indian country
That I lo-ove

Take me back to the Black Hills
To the beautiful Indian country that I lo-o-ove

Nellie The Elephant

To Bombay a travelling circus came
They brought an intelligent elephant
and Nellie was her name

One dark night she slipped her iron chain,
and off she ran to Hindustan
and was never seen again

oooooooooooooooooo...

[Chorus:]
Nellie the elephant packed her trunk
and said goodbye to the circus
off she rode with a trumpety trump
trump trump trump
Nellie the elephant packed her trunk
and trundled off to the jungle
off she rode with a trumpety trump
trump trump trump

Night by night she danced to the circus band
When Nellie was leading the big parade
she looked so proud and grand

No more tricks for Nellie to perform
They taught her how to take a bow
and she took the crowd by storm

oooooooooooooooooo...

[Chorus x2]

The head of the heard was calling far far away
they met one night in silver light
on the road to Mandalay

oooooooooooooooooo...

[Chorus x2]

Kitty in the Basket

(Miaow.........Miaow)

If there's someone in the city doesn't want a little kitty
Tell them put the little kitty in a basket
Leave the little basket outside my door
And I'll love the little kitty for evermore

Wrap the kitty warm, you never know about a storm
And I don'y want a little kitty with the sneezes
I'll hug her and I'll squeeze her, never never tease her
Want a little kitty in a basket

No matter 'bout the colour of her nosey
Don't care if she's a fella or a girl
Don't have to be as pretty as a posey
And I promise not to laugh if she only has a half-a-tail

If there's someone in the city doesn't want a little kitty
Tell them put the little kitty in a basket
Leave the little basket outside my door
And I'll love the little kitty for evermore

Savin' up a dollar and I'm gonna buy a collar
If she's lookin' for a home, please won't ya ask it
Don't want a little tiskit, or a little tasket
Just a little kitty in a basket

I'll warm her milk and dress her in pyjamas
I'll make a bed for her in Daddy's shoe
And if she starts in cryin' for her mama
She can bring along her mama and her sisters and her brothers too

Don't have to be as pretty as a posey
And I promise not to laugh if she only has a half-a-tail

If there's someone in the city doesn't want a little kitty
Tell them put the little kitty in a basket
Leave the little basket outside my door
And I'll love the little kitty for evermore

Wrap the kitty warm, you never know about a storm
And I don'y want a little kitty with the sneezes
I'll hug her and I'll squeeze her, never never tease her
Want a little kitty in a basket

I'll hug her and I'll squeeze her, never never leave her
Want a little kitty in a basket

(Miaow)

They're Changing Guard at Buckingham Palace

They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
Alice is marrying one of the guard.
"A soldier's life is terrible hard," Says Alice.

They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
We saw a guard in a sentry-box.
"One of the sergeants looks after their socks," Says Alice.

They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
We looked for the King, but he never came.
"Well, God take care of him, all the same," Says Alice.

They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
They've great big parties inside the grounds.
"I wouldn't be King for a hundred pounds," Says Alice.

They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
A face looked out, but it wasn't the King's.
"He's much too busy a-signing things," Says Alice.

They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
"Do you think the King knows all about me?"
"Sure to, dear, but it's time for tea," Says Alice.

Pickin' a Chicken

Come to the barbecue and sit by my side
We couldn't choose a better night if we tried
Can't you imagine what a thrill it will be
Pickin' a chicken with me

It's so romantic, the moon up above
Is extra bright on a night such as this
Pullin' a wishbone with someone you love
Is almost certain to end with a kiss

So come to the barbecue, my darling my dear
I'm so in love with you and when you are near
I get a feeling that forever you'll be
Pickin' a chicken with me

It's so romantic, the moon up above
Is extra bright on a night such as this,
Pullin' a wishbone with someone you love
Is almost certain to end with a kiss

So come to the barbecue, my darling my dear,
I'm so in love with you and when you are near
I get a feeling that forever you'll be
Pickin' a chicken with me

Pickin' a chicken with me
Pickin' a chicken with me

I am a mole and I live in a Hole

I'm not a bat or a rat or a cat,
I'm not a gnu or a kangaroo,
I'm not a goose or a moose on the loose,
I am a mole and I live in a hole.

I'm not a cow or a chow or a sow,
I'm not a snake or a hake or a drake,
I'm not a flea or a wee chimpanzee,
I am a mole and I live in a hole.

Yarg yarg, quarck quarck, fried boiled or roast,
You're the slick chick I dig the most ,
I'm not a ram or a clam or a lamb,
I'm not a hog or a frog or a dog,
I'm not a bus or a hip-potomus,
I am a mole and I live in a hole.

Yarg yarg, quarck quarck, fried boiled or roast,
You're the slick chick I dig the most,
I'm not a ram or a clam or a lamb,
I'm not a hog or a frog or a dog,
I'm not a bus or a hip-potomus,
I am a mole and I live in a hole.
I am a mole and I live in a hole.

Messing About on the River

When the weather is fine you know it's the time
For messin' about on the river
If you take my advice there's nothing so nice
As messin' about on the river

There's big boats and wee boats ands all kinds of craft
Puffers and keel boats and some with no raft
With the wind in your face there's no finer place
Than messin' about on the river

There are boats made from kits that'll reach you in bits
For messin' about on the river
And you might want to skull in a glass fibred hull
Go messin' about on the river

Anchors and tillers and rudders and cleats
Ropes that are sometimes referred to as sheets
With the wind in your face there's no finer place
Than messin' about on the river

Skippers and mates and rowing club eights
All messin' about on the river
Capstans and quays where you tie up with ease
All messin' about on the river

Outboards and inboards and dinghies you sail
The first thing you learn is the right way to bale
In a one man canoe you're both skipper and crew
Messin' about on the river

Moorings and docks, tailors and locks
All messin' about on the river
Whirlpools and weirs that you must not go near
Messin' about on the river

Backwater places all hidden from view
Mysterious wee islands just waiting for you
So I'll leave you right now, go cast off your bow
Go messing about on the river

O'Rafferty's Motor Car

Now Dinny O'Rafferty's motor car is the greatest I declare
It's made up of bits and pieces that he's picked up here and there
The engine must be ages old, but it's still got lots of power
With a gallon of stout in the petrol tank it does ninety miles an hour

What a wonderful motor car, it's the greatest ever seen
It used to be black as me father's hat, now it's forty shades of green
On TV and the radio and in every public bar
The burning question of the day is O'Rafferty's motor car

Now two of the wheels are triangular and the third one's off a pram
The fourth is the last remaining wheel from off a Dublin tram
The number plate's in Gaelic and the plug's won't even spark
And the chassis came off a tinker's cart that collapsed in Phoenix Park

What a wonderful motor car, it's the greatest ever seen
It used to be black as me father's hat, now it's forty shades of green
On TV and the radio and in every public bar
The burning question of the day is O'Rafferty's motor car

Now go for a ride in that motor car and you'll end up with the shakes
The road from Cork to Dublin is a vale of pains and aches
When traffic lights turn red ahead, then you'd best jump out the door
For the moment that Dinny treads on the break, then his foot goes through the floor

What a wonderful motor car, it's the greatest ever seen
It used to be black as me father's hat, now it's forty shades of green
On TV and the radio and in every public bar
The burning question of the day is O'Rafferty's motor car

Now if you could see the upholstery, then your eyes would start to pop
It's nothing but empty beer crates with a load of sacks on top
The windscreen's gone to Lord knows where and there's mothballs in the horn
And I reckon he'd only get half a quid if he took it to the pawn

What a wonderful motor car, it's the greatest ever seen
It used to be black as me father's hat, now it's forty shades of green
On TV and the radio and in every public bar
The burning question of the day is O'Rafferty's motor car

Now Dinny was driving around last week when the engine did the splits
It went up in smoke and nearly blew O'Connell Street to bits
They searched around for Dinny and found that he'd landed up by heck
Away on top of the GPO with his L-plates round his neck

What a wonderful motor car, it's the greatest ever seen
It used to be black as me father's hat, now it's forty shades of green
On TV and the radio and in every public bar
The burning question of the day is O'Rafferty's motor car

The Marvelous Toy

Words and Music by Tom Paxton

When I was just a wee little lad full of health and joy,
My father homeward came one night and gave to me a toy.
A wonder to behold, it was, with many colors bright,
And the moment I laid eyes on it it became my heart's delight.

[Cho:]
It went "zip" when it moved and "bop" when it stopped,
And "whirr" when it stood still.
I never knew just what it was and I guess I never will.

The first time that I picked it up, I had a big surprise,
For right on its bottom were two big buttons that,
Looked like big green eyes.
I first pushed one and then the other, and then I twisted its lid,
And when I set it down again, this is what it did:

[Cho:]

It first marched left and then marched right,
And then marched under a chair.
And when l looked where it had gone, it wasn't even there.
I started to sob and my daddy laughed, for he knew that I would find,
When l turned around, my marvelous toy, chugging from behind.

[Cho:]

Well, the years have gone by too quickly, it seems,
I have my own little boy.
And yesterday I gave to him my marvelous little toy.
His eyes nearly popped right out of his head,
And he gave a squeal of glee.
Neither one of us knows just what it is,
but he loves it, just like me.

It still goes "zip" when it moves, "bop" when it stops,
And "whirr" when it stands still.
I never knew just what it was,
And I guess I never will.
I never knew just what it was,
And I guess I never will.

The Ugly Bug Ball

Once a lonely caterpillar sat and cried
To a sympathetic beetle by his side
I've got nobody to hug
I'm such an ug-i-ly bug
Then a spider and a dragonfly replied
If you're serious and want to win a bride
Come along with us, to the glorious annual ugly bug ball

Come on let's crawl (gotta crawl gotta crawl)
To the ugly bug ball (to the ball to the ball)
And a happy time we'll have there, one and all at the ugly bug ball

While the crickets click their cricky melodies
All the ants were fancy dancing with the fleas
Then up from under the ground
The worms came squirming around
Oh they danced until their legs were nearly lame
Every little crawling creature you could name
Everyone was glad
What a time they hade
They were so happy they came

Come on let's crawl (gotta crawl gotta crawl)
To the ugly bug ball (to the ball to the ball)
And a happy time we'll have there, one and all at the ugly bug ball

The our caterpillar saw a pretty queen
She was beautiful and yellow black and green
He said would you care to dance
Their dancing lead to romance
Then she sat upon his caterpillar knee
And he gave his caterpillar queen a squeeze
Soon they'll honeymoon
Build a big cocoon
Thanks to the ugly bug ball

Come on let's crawl (gotta crawl gotta crawl)
To the ugly bug ball (to the ball to the ball)
And a happy time we'll have there, one and all at the ugly bug ball

Goodness Gracious Me!

Her: Oh doctor, I'm in trouble.
Him: Well, goodness gracious me.
Her: For every time a certain man
Is standing next to me.
Him: Mmm?
Her: A flush comes to my face
And my pulse begins to race,
It goes boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom-boom-boom,
Him: Oh!
Her: Boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Him: Well, goodness gracious me.

Him: How often does this happen?
When did the trouble start?
You see, my stethoscope is bobbing
To the throbbing of your heart.
Her: What kind of man is he
To create this allergy?
It goes boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom-boom-boom,
Him: Oh!
Her: Boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Him: Well, goodness gracious me.

Him: From New Delhi to Darjeeling
I have done my share of healing,
And I've never yet been beaten or outboxed,
I remember that with one jab
Of my needle in the Punjab
How I cleared up beriberi
And the dreaded dysentery,
But your complaint has got me really foxed.
Her: Oh.

Her: Oh doctor, touch my fingers.
Him: Well, goodness gracious me.
Her: You may be very clever
But however, can't you see,
My heart beats much too much
At a certain tender touch,
It goes boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom-boom-boom,
Him: I like it!
Her: Boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Him: Well, goodness gracious me.

Him: Can I see your tongue?
Her: Aaah.
Him: Nothing the matter with it, put it away please.
Her: Maybe it's my back.
Him: Maybe it is.
Her: Shall I lie down?
Him: Yes.
Her: Ahhh...

Him: My initial diagnosis
Rules out measles and thrombosis,
Sleeping sickness and, as far as I can tell,
Influenza, inflammation,
Whooping cough and night starvation,
And you'll be so glad to hear
That both your eyeballs are so clear
That I can positively swear that you are well,
Ja-ja, ja-ja-ja-ja.

Her: Put two and two together,
Him: Four,
Her: If you have eyes to see,
The face that makes my pulses race
Is right in front of me.
Him: Oh, there is nothing I can do
For my heart is jumping too.
Both: Oh, we go boom boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom
Boody-boom boody-boom boody-boom-boom-boom,
Her: Goodness gracious,
Him: How audacious!
Her: Goodness gracious,
Him: How flirtatious!
Her: Goodness gracious,
Him: It is me.
Her: It is you?
Him: Ah, I'm sorry, it is us.
Both: Ahhh!

Flash, Bang, Wallop!

(Smile please, all smile. You too, Sir)
(I am smiling)

All lined up in a wedding group
'Ere we are for a photograph
We're all dressed up in a morning suit
All trying hard not to laugh
Since the early caveman in his fur
Took a trip to Gretna Green
There's always been a photographer
To record the 'appy scene.....

'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
What a picture, what a photograph
Poor old soul, blimey, what a joke
Hat blown off in a cloud of smoke
Clap 'ands, stamp yer feet
Bangin' on the big bass drum
What a picture, what a picture
Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in your fam'ly album

(Thanks very much, one more picture. Hold it!)

The same thing 'appened long ago
When man was in his prime
And what went on we only know
From the snaps he took at the time
When Adam and Eve in their birthday suit
Decided to get wed
As Adam was about to taste the fruit
The man with the cam'ra said.....

'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
What a picture, what a photograph
Poor old Eve, there with nothing on
Face all red and 'er fig leaf gone
Clap 'ands, stamp yer feet
Bangin' on the big bass drum, W-e-e-a-ay!
What a picture, what a picture
Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in your fam'ly album

(Thanks very much. One more picture, hold it!)

You've read it in a folio
Or seen it in a Shakespeare play
How Juliet fell for Romeo
In the merry month of May
And as 'e climbed the orchard wall
To reach 'is lady fair
As he tumbled, she began to bawl
As he floated through the air.....

'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
What a picture, what a photograph
Poor young chap, what a night 'e spent
Tights all torn and 'is rapier bent
Clap 'ands, stamp yer feet
Bangin' on the big bass drum, W-e-e-a-ay!
What a picture, what apicture
Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in your fam'ly album

(One more picture, hold it!)

King 'Enry the Eighth had several wives
Including Anne Boleyn
And he kept an album of their lives
With all their photos in
As Anne Boleyn was on her knees
Dressed in her very best frock
King 'Enry shouted, "Smile, Dear, please"
As 'er 'ead rolled off the block.....

'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
What a picture, what a photograph
Comes the print in a little while
Lost 'er 'ead, but she kept 'er smile
Clap 'ands, stamp yer feet, Ye-e-a-y!
Bangin' on the big bass drum
What a picture, what a picture
Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in your fam'ly album

(Thank you very much. One more picture, hold it!)

When Napoleon married Josephine
There was just the same to-do
He galloped home from the battle scene
All the way from Waterloo
And as he came from orf 'is 'orse
To the boudoir where she sat
She said to 'im, in French of course
As he took of his big cocked 'at

'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture
What a picture, what a photograph
There she was, with a big Hussar
All caught up in 'er oh-la-la
Clap 'ands, stamp yer feet, Ye-e-a-y!
Bangin' on the big bass drum
What a picture, what a picture
Um-tiddly-um-pum-um-pum-pum
Stick it in your fam'ly album
Stick it in your fam'ly
Stick it in your fam'ly
In your fam'ly album!

Donald Where's Your Troosers?

I've just come down from the Isle of Skye,
I’m no very big and I'm awful shy,
And the lassies shout when I go by,
" Donald where’s your troosers."

Let the wind blow high, let the wind blow low,
Through the streets in my kilt I'll go,
And all the lassies shout hello
Donald where'syour troosers .

A Lassie took me to a ball
And it was slippery in the hall
And I was feart that I would fall
Fur I hadnae on ma' troosers

Chorus

I went down to London Town
And I had some fun in the underground
The ladies turned their heads around
Saying "Donald where's your troosers".

Chorus

4. To wear the kilt is my delight
It isna wrong, I know its right
The islanders would get a fright
If they saw me in the troosers

Chorus

5. They'd like to wed me everywan
Just let them catch me if they can
You cannae tak’ the breeks aff a Hielan’ man
And I don't wear the troosers

Chorus

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